This is going to be a long post. You are warned. 

Over the past couple months, many people have been journeying with us as I (Shannon) have gone through a pretty intense health crisis. We have been overwhelmed by the love and good wishes we have received from friends around the world. We have had some very good news recently that I want to share with you, but I also thought I would give you a summary of my health journey that has brought me to where I am now. Some of you know bits and pieces of this, but hopefully this will help connect the dots. (I have made it fairly detailed, as I know some people who have similar conditions or health care knowledge might be asking questions in their heads about specifics; otherwise you can just hit the bold sentences for an outline.)

My Health Journey

The whole thing started back in December 2019 when a tiny knee injury turned into a massively swollen knee, then two swollen knees, effectively crippling me for months. When it started spreading to other joints, we realized something more than an injury was at work. Over the course of months, starting in July 2020, I worked with a very good rheumatologist (Dr. Baert) at the top hospital here in Brussels who diagnosed an autoimmune-type arthritis. It does not fit neatly into any of the typical types of rheumatic arthritis; it is still not clearly identified. We were happy, though, when a probable diagnosis of ankylosing spondylitis—a disease that primarily affects the spine and can be crippling—was refuted by MRI evidence just a few months ago. And the treatment we were following from December 2020 on (methotrexate) seemed to be reasonably effective. 

Then in April, we went back to the US for Carlton’s father’s funeral. The day after the memorial, I started having severe gastric problems that we thought were the result of a new medication (sulfasalazine) that my rheumatologist had prescribed and we stopped it immediately. But the same week I also had a tooth infection and root canal and was put on antibiotics and steroids. These events (plus perhaps the emotional stress of the funeral) may have been a trigger for an infection/reaction in my gut… but we just don’t know. I continued having intestinal issues for a couple of months and was trying to modify my diet to accommodate it. 

At the beginning of July, though, I started passing blood and my GP Eric Jonckers sent me to emergency for a gastric endoscopy. (Eric is Belgian, a former medical missionary to Africa, and a major hero in this story.) At the time, both he and Dr Baert suspected I might have developed a gastric ulcer from the NSAIDs I had been taking for the arthritis. They found only gastritis in the stomach, no ulcer. A good friend of ours with Crohn’s disease shared his diet plan with me, and I modified mine accordingly to reduce inflammation. It seemed to be helping at first.

However, two weeks later I started passing blood again, and ended up going to emergency on July 18. This time they kept me in the hospital for a week. They did a CT scan and a colonoscopy and discovered bleeding ulcers in my colon. They first suspected an infection, but eventually diagnosed ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) similar to my arthritis (and more than likely linked). Just as my small knee injury provoked an autoimmune reaction in my joints, it is possible that an earlier gut infection provoked a similar autoimmune reaction in my colon. They put me on steroids and a preventative antibiotic.

Unfortunately, though, after finishing the antibiotics, I did actually develop an infection (C Diff). This started what they are calling a cascade. I went back to emergency on August 2, was put on more antibiotics, but when I finished those, started to plummet again. Finally last Tuesday (August 17), I was admitted to the hospital again. The C Diff was gone, but I had developed another, atypical bacterial infection. I was given a targeted antibiotic for this infection… but then started crashing, with low BP, high heart rate, trouble breathing, lots of pain. It was a scary moment, and I remember wondering if this was what dying felt like. Turns out I was having an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. The doctors were quick to respond. They put me on another antibiotic and kept me in the hospital over the weekend to administer it by IV. 

I was super thankful for the doctor supervising my case during this difficult week, Dr. Paul. My doctor of record, who had done the first endoscopy, had not impressed me with either her compassion or interest in my case, and had never come to see me personally the first week I spent in hospital in July (although her assistant was sympathetic). During that first stay, in face, it was not she but the doctor on duty on our national Belgian holiday that saw the need to put me on steroids to reduce the inflammation—Dr. Paul. I had already been talking to my GP, Eric, about how I might change doctors. But then it so happened that during this crucial week, my doctor was on vacation! Dr. Paul took my case, and he and his assistant worked hard to find good solutions. 

Zoe was happy I was home from the hospital!

They sent me home Monday (Aug 23) when they could see the antibiotics taking effect. I came home 11 kg (24 pounds) lighter than when I first went to emergency 2 months ago, and considerably weaker, but with signs that the infection was being eradicated and that now we can focus on the inflammation issues. Over the last few days since my return I have had no bleeding, very little pain, and have been able to sleep better. I also have my appetite back and have been able to add a few fruits and vegetables into my repertoire (bananas, watermelon, cooked carrots and sweet potato) after more than a month of being unable to tolerate any kind of fibre or manage more than a few bites at a meal. It really feels like the crisis part of this is over and maybe I can convalesce and recover. So huge thanks to God for this! 

And now for the really good news we got on Thursday!  (Finally, after reading this far!) Dr. Baert, my rheumatologist, called me and said she has set up an appointment for me Monday with the top IBD doctor at her university hospital, which is also the top hospital in Brussels! The two teams, gastroenterology and rheumatology, often collaborate on cases like mine since the diseases are linked and sometimes treatments can overlap. She had already been consulting with the doctor where I was hospitalized and discussing following up with biologic treatment that would be effective for both the arthritis and the IBD. This move to having both doctors at the same hospital is exactly what my GP Eric thought we should pursue, and Dr Baert has been more than accomodating.

As some of you may know, biologic treatments are outrageously expensive. Because we have socialized medicine in Belgium, they are less expensive here than the US (thousands instead of tens of thousands per treatment). But because of that expense the doctors must still go through some hoops to justify them being totally covered by our social insurance (showing they have tried other treatments that were insufficient to the case). BUT the REALLY good news is that it appears we can start the biologic treatment within the next couple of weeks AND it will be covered! Dr Baert said that because of her previous treatment of my arthritis (methotrexate and sulfasalazine) and the recent steroid treatment by the other hospital of my IBD, we should meet the requirements for coverage! Even if there is a couple weeks gap, she said that both the rheumatology department and the gastroenterology department have samples that could be given for free in the meantime. This is amazing news!

Carlton went out and got me a McDonalds cheeseburger to celebrate! I realized that (except for the onions) the components were on my diet, and it seemed like a well-person thing to do instead of a sick-person thing!

Never enjoyed a cheeseburger so much!

Thanks and Praise!


Proverbs 17:22 says, A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. What better way to be cheerful in difficulty than to be thankful? I have been so thankful for the people who have surrounded me in so many ways during all of this crazy journey. Here are just some of the people who have been super supportive in so many ways:

  • My doctors: my GP Eric who has called me and checked in on me almost every day during this whole time; my rheumatologist Dr. Baert for her responsiveness and proactivity (answering my emails, consulting with Eric and Dr. Paul on the phone); and Dr. Paul who stepped in when I was in crisis, spending time with me and on the phone with both my other doctors. I am so grateful for God’s provision of these three people. I look forward to meeting the new guy at St. Luc too!
  • People at The Well: so many friends prayed for me, brought me food, checked in on me, drove me, offered much help, especially when Carlton was traveling during some of the time I was ill. Some people brought me salmon sushi when that was one of the few things I could stomach—one friend who now lives in Greece offered to have it delivered to me! The intercessory prayer group at the church particularly prayed intensely for me, and a whole group of people came over to pray over me. There are too many people to list individually, but I do want to mention two. Lynn, especially, has tried to keep up with my dietary needs. And Lois, who also leads the intercession group, has been a lifesaver: she came and spent the night with me when both Carlton and Ani were both away and I was nose-diving and quite frightened on August 16. She prayed for me in the night and helped me get to the hospital in the morning.
  • Friends on the “Real Deals” WhatsApp group: this is a group we made for people who want to be involved in the nitty-gritty of our daily lives—Carlton’s trips, reporting on ministry opportunities, etc.—and boy, did it get nitty-gritty these last couple of months. These people prayed and encouraged me daily, putting up with reports on bleeding and cramping and diarrhea and other bodily functions that are usually not discussed in polite company. They also experienced the roller coaster of: I’m turning the corner! No I’m not! I’m getting worse! but continued to persevere in prayer and send me Scripture and messages of encouragement. Lots sent me many private messages too. All of these have done a lot to convince me that just maybe people love me!! I won’t list individuals here in case I miss someone, but you know who you are, you daily persistent prayer warriors! 
  • Friends at supporting churches in the US: Some of these friends also joined prayer calls for me organised by The Well, and others organised special prayer times at home for me. I know that many people prayed for me at Tab Church, PCC, and VBCC during prayer meetings and home groups and other gatherings! But I especially am thankful for the special time of prayer organised by Patty and Steve Shuster with PCC friends on Thursday 19 August. They did not know it at the time, but this was in the middle of the night for me (2:00 AM) at the lowest point of my crisis, when I was having the allergic reaction to the antibiotics, in terrible pain, with a heart rate near 150, having trouble breathing. Your prayers may have saved my life that night. 
  • My extended family. My parents, of course, have been very concerned for me, and my mother expressed the wish that she could take my pain on herself (isn’t this how all good mothers feel?) In fact, she knows something of what this is like, as she suffered from colitis as a younger woman and in 2020 almost died of a C-Diff infection herself. My parents have also shared my troubles with their church body, who have been praying earnestly for me too. My dad was one of 11 siblings, so I have not just dozens but hundreds of cousins all over the place, most of them believers, a good number in ministry. My parents shared my health concerns with our family email list just as we were first considering biologic medication, but before we knew when/whether I would qualify for insurance coverage. There was an immediate move in the family to raise money so that I could have it right away! It turns out that will not be necessary, but my heart was warmed that my family would even think of doing this for me. Looking forward to the next reunion when I can thank them in person!
  • Friends from around the world. I have received so many messages and well-wishes from people all over the world: on Facebook/Messenger, from STC leaders, through Carlton, from old college friends, from local pastors in Brussels, from people I barely know or have never met… I have always been terrible at regular communication but re-connecting with old friends and acquaintances during has given me a new desire to be better at keeping in touch.
  • My immediate family. Obviously, I do not list these people last because they are least! Carlton and Ani have been so selfless and supportive during this time, and Ani’s boyfriend Nico has also been amazing. I also know that it has been very hard on my son, Parker, not to be able to be here while I have been sick, but he has sent me fun messages and many pictures/videos of my little granddaughter Ezra to keep my spirits up, as well as FaceTime conversations with him and Ashley. Weirdly, Carlton was away on a trip pretty much every time I ended up in emergency (we always thought I was getting better!), so Ani and Nico were the ones who got me there 3 times. Carlton cut short two of his trips to come back immediately and be with me (the third one he was already on his way back when I went to the emergency room). They have been taking care of all the day-to-day stuff I usually do: shopping, laundry, cleaning, etc.; not to mention making me breakfast and cups of tea, buying me sushi and all kinds of other weird foods, helping me up and down stairs, changing my bedsheets, disinfecting everything, running baths for me… Ani calls me every day, sometimes more than once. And Carlton kept in near-constant message contact with me while he was away, and has spent time praying with and for me. He has also kept me well-supplied with flowers! But probably the nicest thing the two of them did was that Carlton commissioned Ani to compose/record a meditative song called “Masterpiece” for me based on my favorite verse, Ephesians 2:10. I was so moved that they did this for me.

If you would like to listen to the song she made for me, here it is! (And a little plug: she can make something like this for you as well for 50 euros…)

If you are still reading… here’s what I’ve been learning:

1. A bit more about Rest and Peace. 

Some of you know that several years ago I wrote a book called Rest with things I was learning about “making every effort to enter God’s rest” (Hebrews 4:11). During this recent period, I received some of the same verses over and over from various people, from my devotional apps, and from the music I was listening to, especially:

  • John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 
  • Numbers 6:24-26 “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” 

I felt like God reminded me to re-read my own book (!) and remember the principles of rest and shalom at this time, based in God’s finished work, to trust in his providence and renewal in my own body and rest in his presence. And that leads me to…

2. Beginning to understand what reliance on God really means. 

A couple of years ago in 2019 I began a personal study of Scripture that focused on human need and God’s provision, and how relying on God for the quotidian might lead into a deeper spiritual reliance. I was aware that as I prayed to God to help me understand what it meant to rely on him in all ways that it might involve some stretching. In fact, the health problems that started with my knees closely followed on the heels of the beginning of this investigation as well as a personal contemplative prayer program I started at the time. I actually did a few talks on the subject of Reliance while I was in the throes of dealing with the knee problems (“The Blessing of Need”). But I knew somehow that this was the beginning of a deep dive, and I could either be diverted from reliance by problems I might face, or lean more into the Lord because of them.

When the intestinal troubles started, I was definitely struggling with reliance on several personal fronts (that I won’t go into here). As people prayed for me, I also felt a call to repentance in order to be healed, and for me I felt like there were some areas of self-reliance or resistance to reliance that were being challenged, and that needed to be broken down. These started really crumbling as my own strength gave way, my pain became unmanageable, my emotions became raw and I realized how helpless and hopeless I was. My parents and my friend Kim (and maybe others) shared with me a verse they were praying for me: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (2 Chronicles 20:12b). This seems to me to be the heart of reliance and became my prayer too. At the same time, through many other Scriptures shared by friends and listened to on my apps, it sunk in that I really truly could trust him with everything because of his deep love for me.

I think for all of us this is a process, and sometimes like Peter walking on the water; clearly, I had learned things and forgotten them in distraction. So I am not fooled into thinking I have arrived on this front, but like Paul: Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, Ipress on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:13-15). There is much more to learn in the daily goal of totally needing Jesus. But maybe I am a bit closer to some insights if I ever do write the book “Rely”!

3. Learning about prayer and healing. 

As mentioned, I am hugely indebted to all the people who have been praying for my healing, some even fasting on my behalf, or organizing groups to pray for me. I have always found healing a mystery: why-when-who does God choose to heal? Lots of people prayed for me to be healed right now, but I not only didn’t get better right away, I got worse! But as you can see from what I wrote above, God had purposes for me in that already.

And even more: I realized that I should not rely only on the prayers of others, but that God wanted ME to earnestly ask for my own healing. On the second of my two crisis nights in the hospital, I had been dreaming that I was having to play a video game where I had to press blue buttons (as opposed to other colors) in order to keep my heart beating. When the nurses came in to check my vitals, my heartbeat was super slow and my BP very very low, so obviously my dreams were echoing a physical reality!

After they left, I was wide awake but very weak and in some pain. I started listening to one of the Scripture playlists on my Dwell app and one of the verses  really spoke to me that I myself should really earnestly pray for my own healing, right then. (I think it might have been James 4:2b, “You do not have because you do not ask God.” At least, that was the idea that was communicated to me, with that emphasis). So I laid my hands on my own abdomen and began to pray God’s blessing on my body for a long time. Afterwards, I rolled over to try to sleep, but instead found myself sitting on the side of my bed. I actually asked out loud, “Why am I sitting up?” And I immediately knew I was meant to keep praying. For maybe 40 minutes I sat there praying various permutations of the Jesus prayer (“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior, have mercy on me, a sinner”) until I felt at peace and was able to sleep again. For me, I think I always weirdly believe I am being selfish in asking for my own personal healing, instead of realizing God wants me to rely on him in this way. But God really impressed on me that He wanted me to ask him myself, not just passively let others pray for my healing (important as that is and has been for my recovery). 

4. Don’t be an island. 

I am a quite private and reserved person in many ways. The thought that I would be sharing daily updates about my bowel movements with dozens of people would have been unimaginable to me not so long ago! I like to do things myself, and I tend not to assume people want either to help me or hear about me. But in failing to communicate, I often really cut myself off from people that are deeply important to me, as well as others I could befriend (not only for their sake, but also for my own). During this time, I have felt such an outpouring of love from so many different people, and it makes me realize that my life does touch that of others, even when I feel disconnected or out of the circle of insiders. It has also been a pleasure to have some long text conversations with a few old friends that I have been in irregular contact with during this time. While I will probably never be a prolific correspondent, I realize that I want to prioritize this more highly—not because of some guilt or duty to the other person (which has normally been the motivation when I have been out of touch), but because I love them and because it also builds me up to hear from them and communicate with them. Withdrawing will always be a temptation for me, but I think the secret of engaging out of mutual love, concern and cooperation rather than duty or guilt, this could be the perspective that makes a difference.

I know there are many other things going on in my head and my heart too! It will take time to sort them out…

Some of the things I have been listening to over and over during the crisis of the last two weeks that could maybe encourage you too:

Chelsea Moon, Hymn Project #2. Especially “I Need Thee Every Hour” and “What a Friend we Have in Jesus” (Hymn Project #1 is good too) https://open.spotify.com/album/63ZWgSSsHBUmcf3VGibggJ?si=0Ad2Sgz4RSW-lm5zKm0xjA&dl_branch=1

Sons of Korah, an Australian band that sets Psalms to music. https://open.spotify.com/artist/2d1YAGSxav5QmTOtwNN7Re?si=XBuVap1zQO2gplWD6zbQmg&dl_branch=1

Dwell, an audio Bible app (I like Gregory’s voice particularly!). Various Psalms (particularly Psalm 6 & 23), plus different Scripture playlists, especially the one entitled “When Life Hurts” which I played a lot. (You can get a paid subscription on the App Store.)

Lectio 365 app, a daily prayer/Scripture meditation app, which was following a theme of shalom in recent weeks. (You can download this app free on the App Store.)

This is a lot of info, and a lot of personal stuff for a private person like me to share! But I hope it will build your faith, whether because your prayers for me have been answered, because it helps you to be thankful in a difficult situation you face, because it reminded you of a Scripture or song you needed to hear and believe, or because it reinforced something God is teaching you. Thanks again for being my friend, loving me and standing with me in this time.

Love, Shannon